The Kingdom of Northland Republic is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by King Randy Barrow and Yoel Baltasar with an iron fist, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, parental licensing program, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 25.256 billion Northlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Spirituality, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of M'ndav. The average income tax rate is 69.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Northlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,615 trillion Tixaris a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 63,953 Tixaris, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The most popular WhoTube videos are ones featuring parodies of iconic songs, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest growing field, and hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Northland Republic's national animal is the Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Vreato.

Northland Republic is ranked 237,730^th in the world and 7^th in Union of Republics for Most Cultured, scoring 63 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.